Off The Hill

DiCaprio and Bunchen Attend the Same Party

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Everyone’s nightmare was realized when Leonardo DiCaprio ran into Gisele Bundchen, at one of the thousands of Met Gala pre-parties. The pair, who split…

May 21 2013 / Read More »

Diary of Anne Frank Banned In Michigan, As New Version Reveals Justin Bieber Love Letter

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TROY, MICHIGAN – A school district in Michigan received several complaints as parents claim “Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl” is too disturbing for their children…

May 14 2013 / Read More »
Jews Launch New: Snip the Tip Campaign
Fowl Play: Big Bird and Cronies Wreak Havoc
Monopoly Guy Commits Suicide As Gold Prices Plumet
Congress

Congress Votes Unanimously to Help Themselves

WASHINGTON, DC  –  Last week, Congress came together to pass something, overcoming partisan politics in a unanimous vote to “help struggling congress members.” Provisions in the Stop Trading…

May 2 2013 / Read More »

Supreme Court Ruling Overturns Rule of Law, Congress Enacts Rule of Thumb

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WASHINGTON- After reviewing the countless tax dollars wasted on passing oppressive laws only to have them later ruled unconstitutional, the Supreme Court has deemed the current legal system…

Apr 8 2013 / Read More »
@GOP Renews Focus on Nation’s Top Priority: #Semantics
Senate Delays Debt Limit Deadline, Goes on Shopping Spree
Class War Reinactors Portray the Forgotten Occupy Wall Street Movement
International

Japanese Mayor Believes Wartime Sex is Good

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JAPAN- Toru Hashimoto, the mayor of a city in Japan, has been under fire for his comments about sex on female wartime prisoners. Japan has a long history…

May 21 2013 / Read More »

Al Qaeda Calls It Quits Over High US Murder Rate, Decides To Fund NRA

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WASHINGTON – The leader of Al Qaeda announced today that they will cease operations against the United States, stating that, “Americans are killing each other much faster than…

Feb 11 2013 / Read More »
UN Panel: Israeli Settlements are “A Dick Move”
American Evangelicals Really Have It Tough” Says Imprisoned Christian in Egypt
U.S. Captures Ahmadinejad’s Walkman, Mixtape
Administration

Chinese Hack Pentagon Computers, Steal Porn

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WASHINGTON- Red-faced defense department officials confirmed today that a Chinese cyber-assault was successful in penetrating their outer layers of security, sending quivers through the Pentagon. After loosening up…

Feb 26 2013 / Read More »

US Postal Service Ends Historic Ban On Jews

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WASHINGTON – The United States Postal Service announced Thursday that it would no longer deliver mail on Saturdays, ending an historic prohibition on Jewish mailcarriers. Members of the…

Feb 11 2013 / Read More »
Immigration Reform To Cause Massive Spike In American’s Ability to Run, Work
Joe Biden Hoarding White House Office Supplies as Sequestration of Government Budget Looms Closer
Hillary Testifies, Castrates Congress

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