IKEA Debuts New Obama “Empty Chair” Series »

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By S.G. Lawrence STOCKHOLM – Swedish furniture giant IKEA has just released its newest fall line of  assemble-it-yourself furniture: the Obama “Empty Chair” Series. Unsatisfied by the limited success of its 2008 “Embrace the Change” campaign featuring cheap Oval-Office style home furniture, the iconic Scandinavian furniture retailer announced…

Sep 14 2013 / No Comment / Read More »
Threats to Freedom

NSA »

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President Nixon wiretaps Watergate and gets impeached. President Obama wiretaps the entire country and is a Nobel Peace prize recipient. The incumbent believes that the…

Jun 18 2013 / No Comment / Read More »

Social Media »

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Threat level – 8 While the Boston bombings took headlines, the underbelly of social media roared to life as a slew of misguided, ignorant thoughts…

Apr 30 2013 / No Comment / Read More »
Off The Hill

DiCaprio and Bunchen Attend the Same Party

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Everyone’s nightmare was realized when Leonardo DiCaprio ran into Gisele Bundchen, at one of the thousands of Met Gala pre-parties. The pair, who split…

May 21 2013 / Read More »

Diary of Anne Frank Banned In Michigan, As New Version Reveals Justin Bieber Love Letter

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TROY, MICHIGAN – A school district in Michigan received several complaints as parents claim “Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl” is too disturbing for their children…

May 14 2013 / Read More »
Congress

Congress Votes Unanimously to Help Themselves

WASHINGTON, DC  –  Last week, Congress came together to pass something, overcoming partisan politics in a unanimous vote to “help struggling congress members.” Provisions in the Stop Trading…

May 2 2013 / Read More »

Supreme Court Ruling Overturns Rule of Law, Congress Enacts Rule of Thumb

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WASHINGTON- After reviewing the countless tax dollars wasted on passing oppressive laws only to have them later ruled unconstitutional, the Supreme Court has deemed the current legal system…

Apr 8 2013 / Read More »
International

North Korean Leader Gives Out Book at Party

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NORTH KOREA – Last Thursday night at a hot bar supreme dictator, Kim Jong –un, whipped out his copy of Adolph Hitler’s Mein Kompf and gave it to…

Jul 1 2013 / Read More »

Japanese Mayor Believes Wartime Sex is Good

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JAPAN- Toru Hashimoto, the mayor of a city in Japan, has been under fire for his comments about sex on female wartime prisoners. Japan has a long history…

May 21 2013 / Read More »
Administration

Chinese Hack Pentagon Computers, Steal Porn

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WASHINGTON- Red-faced defense department officials confirmed today that a Chinese cyber-assault was successful in penetrating their outer layers of security, sending quivers through the Pentagon. After loosening up…

Feb 26 2013 / Read More »

US Postal Service Ends Historic Ban On Jews

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WASHINGTON – The United States Postal Service announced Thursday that it would no longer deliver mail on Saturdays, ending an historic prohibition on Jewish mailcarriers. Members of the…

Feb 11 2013 / Read More »

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