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Mitt Romney Bullying Timeline »

Romney Bully

by Chris McKerracher Presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, under fire recently for having a bullying incident from his youth brought to light, is now being inundated with reports of other victims who are coming forward with their tortured memories. “I remember in Kindergarten, Mr. Romney… we…

May 16 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

Obama “Neglected, Excluded from Fun” by Secret Service While in Columbia »

By Peter Coburn WASHINGTON — The Secret Service prostitution scandal, which recently embarrassed the government agency, received new testimony by one of the escorts hired in Colombia. Dania Suarez, an escort hired by the Secret Service, came out with her story about the Secret Service…

May 14 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

Obama, Biden in Gay Marriage Tiff »

By Chris McKerracher WASHINGTON — Barack and Joe are a fairly normal couple in Washington. Being good partners they support one another, care deeply about one another and rarely argue, especially in public. Now, however, as Joe tries to establish his own identity after being…

May 10 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

Columbian Prostitute: “Secret Service Agents Were Better Under Clinton” »

By Kenny Heidt CARTAGENA – More shocking than Dania Londono Suarez, the woman at the heart of the Secret Service escort scandal, telling ABC news that the men she dealt with were “stupid brutes,” is her revelation to the The Washington Fancy that she preferred the agents…

May 8 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

U.S. Navy Finally Develops “Gaydar” Device »

By Thomas Moore ANNAPOLIS—After years of development, the United States Navy has finally perfected a “Gaydar” device that can rapidly distinguish the sexual orientation of its service members. “We need to know who these people are, and we need to know quickly,” said a Navy…

May 4 2012 / 1 Comment / Read More »

Obama, Romney in Broad-Based Battle; “War on Women” Heats Up »

By Chris McKerracher WASHINGTON – The two opposing sides in the coming November presidential election have ramped up the rhetoric regarding who best represents the “fairest gender.” “The President is betraying his Godless heathen, Obamasaurus Rex roots to every dame in the country,” Mitt Romney charged…

Apr 30 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
Administration

Apple Skirts Taxes, Government Taxes Skirts »

Apple California

By Shaun P Kunz CUPERTINO, CA — Apple has been accused of playing a financial shell game in order to avoid the billions in taxes…

May 8 2012 / No Comment / Read More »

Wikileaks Releases Transcript of Chen Escape Details »

Chinese dependence on the US?

By Chris McKerracher The following is a transcript of a conversation hacked by Wikileaks and put on the Internet because they can. It is between…

Apr 30 2012 / No Comment / Read More »
Election 2012

Julius Caesar, Inspired by Rick Santorum, Reincarnated for Presidential Election

The GOP rises from the ashes

By Teddy Moss ROME – With Rick Santorum recently bowing out as a GOP candidate, one ambitious politician is trying to seize the day: Gaius Julius Caesar, running as an…

May 8 2012 / Read More »

Doctors on Newt Gingrich Death Watch

Gingrich, caught in the headlines, feeling weak...

By Chris McKerracher WASHINGTON — Specialists were called in yesterday by the Newt Gingrich nomination team to rule whether the presidential hopeful’s primary campaign is still alive or…

Apr 25 2012 / Read More »
Congress

Elizabeth Warren: “I Was a Beastie Boy”

MC Warren on the Mike

By Douglas Timothy BOSTON — Elizabeth Warren’s Senate campaign hit a serious snag over the past week with revelations that her Native American roots consist of a great-great-great-grandmother…

May 8 2012 / Read More »

New Antiquities Act Raises Money, Enables Companies to Sponsor National Landmarks

Born-Again Statue of LIberty

By Jahs WASHINGTON — In an effort to raise money for more government programs, Congress revised the Antiquities Act of 1906 to allow government agencies to contract the…

Apr 17 2012 / Read More »
Off The Hill

Retired Space Shuttle Discovery In Disrepair, Needs Urgent Tune-Up

Discovery - damaged

By Chris McKerracher CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Joe Furly, the grizzled old head mechanic at Joe’s Shuttle Repair looked at the Discovery space vessel before him and shook…

Apr 26 2012 / Read More »

Obama Uses TV to Reach New Constituents; ‘Slow Jammin’ with Fallon Just the Beginning

Obama Slows Down the News

By Chris McKerracher NEW YORK — In an effort to reach out to younger, cooler voters than those who watch C-SPAN, the President of the United States, was…

Apr 25 2012 / Read More »
International

US, Russia Ink Cyber Deal: Obama & Medvedev Officially Facebook Friends

Obama and Medvedev officially Facebook friends

By Chris McKerracher MOSCOW — Two long-time rivals are close to coming to terms with trying to maintain peace over the Internet. The United States and Russia are…

Apr 27 2012 / Read More »

North Korea Admits “We Launched Our Missile Into the Water, Uh, on Purpose”

Missile Launch chart

By Peter Coburn PYONGYANG—North Korea found itself in a perilous situation with the rest of the world when it announced its April rocket launch. While North Korean officials…

Apr 25 2012 / Read More »

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