Greenspan’s New Debt Strategy: Pretending It Doesn’t Really Exist
Alan Greenspan is scared of one thing, and it’s not the looming shadow of death around the corner: it’s the looming debt ceiling. The former Federal Reserve Chairman and Mr. Magoo impersonator appeared on CNBC to discuss the current economic state, and proposed a brilliant strategy for dealing with the nation’s skyrocketing debt: pretending that it doesn’t exist.
“We’re the United States. We don’t need no stinkin’ debt ceiling,” Greenspan said. “We should borrow till the money flows out of our socks. By the time other countries come to collect, we’ll all be dead anyways. I’m sure I’ll be.”
During the interview, Greenspan suggested that other solutions, such as tax increases combined with measured budget cuts, could solve the problem, but such rational solutions are would take patience, sacrifice, rational thinking and common sense – something most politicians can’t afford to have in an election year. “It’s time for the U.S. to deal with this the way we handled all uncomfortable situations when I was growing up – by pretending everything is fine, and never bringing it up again.”
He also defended his role in the financial crisis, which left us one bank failure away from hobo fashion making a comeback. “In my defense,” said Greenspan, “no one at the time thought that looking the other way while banks gave home loans to people with no money could possibly lead to any negative consequences whatsoever.”
In congressional testimony last year, Greenspan admitted to being “wrong 30 percent of the time” on the economy, “and that was when I missed the dart board altogether”.
By Tommy Danger