The Hottest New Gift for Dads
TORONTO – ToysBros North America has just announced its new Anthony Weiner doll set, just in time for Father’s Day. No socks or ties, or three-in-one radios this year. The Canadian import company will be selling the fully flexible and double jointed action figure in three different outfits. The “Business Casual Weiner” will be adorned in a blue suit, red tie slightly loosened and white shirt. Emblazoned on his pocket will be a seal of the great State of New York. Next in line is the “After Business Weiner,” draped in loose sweats, elastic headband and a T-shirt. Finally, the cross-over edition is expected to be the most popular Weiner doll. The “Risky Business Weiner” will appeal to three generations. Wearing Ray-Ban style shades, a long blue shirt, tighty-whitey cotton briefs, and loosely pulled white socks, the “Cruise-esque Weiner” doll has already been back logged on internet pre-orders. The bonus feature will be an available iToons “Old Time Rock N’ Roll” download, which will play on command.
All three models will come equipped with a tiny cell phone style camera, hidden conspicuously in the “pants front” which will send images directly to your preset Twitter accounts. These Weiner Tweets, or Tweiners, will be time stamped and dated, so everyone will know exactly when the Weiner cam was at work. No questions.
Concerns about anatomical correctness have been fully addressed, The Weiner doll will be fully “posable” and able to “flex” for you as well; simply push the lever found in the finger-hole on his back, right next to the donkey handled knife stuck in there. Other amenities include an image loaded cell phone, with a Seattle area code highlighted on the number pad, a laptop with a webcam, a replica Shake Weight and a giant eraser, for when you just finally want it all to go away.
When asked about the political correctness of their toy, Marcus Vermillion of ToysBros NA, only stated that it was,”… very politically erect, that is, socially inept. We don’t pass judgment on our toys.”
By Shaun Kunz