President Karzai demands NATO troops to stop strikes on homes with AC


"Leave the houses with AC alone"

KABUL – Afghan President Hamid Karzai is taking a hard stance on NATO-led strikes within his country. In a global declaration, Karzai has asked that NATO discontinue all strikes against homes with air conditioning. He has made it clear that strikes within Afghanistan can continue as long as his people have somewhere to stay cool.

“Afghanistan is really hot and there are only a few homes with air conditioning,” stated a source close to President Karzai. “It would be great if those homes stopped blowing up.”

The United States agrees that the proposed policy is a good one, although they are unsure of how to keep Taliban insurgents from seeking refuge in buildings with central air. Top CIA analysts believe that terrorists enjoy staying cool just as much as innocent civilians. The Pentagon is hoping that their pilot program, which consists of luring insurgents outside using the promise of ice cream and popsicles, will be a big success.

Press Secretary Jay Carney notes, “The White House is already looking into building public swimming pools to hold the Afghan people over until their homes stop exploding.” Polls show that 85% of the American people support the preservation of foreign air conditioning. The other 15% of respondents’ answers ranged from encouraging the use of fans and cold drinks to “just stop bombing civilians completely.”

Karzai made it clear that he appreciates the stability NATO and U.S. forces have brought to his country. He just can’t stand for strikes that leave women and children homeless and sweaty.

By Chris Todd

#ComedyInitials


Posted by on Jun 23 2011. Filed under International. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

4 Comments for “President Karzai demands NATO troops to stop strikes on homes with AC”

  1. Ryan Chase

    Mitch. Can I call you, Mitch? While I agree with you as well as liberella on the author’s misguided approach and premise for writing this article, but you are taking what is simply that and exhibiting the overblown reaction that has come to obstruct productive and intelligent discourse in this country. Yes, he chose to take an angle on a article that was insensitive, but that does not qualify him as being in possession of mindset that can be described as American-centric. Now, I have never met Chris Todd, but neither have you, and with that mind you should refrain from attaching such labels to him. I’m not even going to address your final comment: ‘THAT my friends, is how you create terrorists.”

    He made an ill-advised mistake, plain and simple. No reason to liken him to a terrorist.

    • Mitch Mitchum

      I have in fact met Chris Todd. I didn’t liken him to a terrorist in my post though. I merely suggested that such an insensitive article will no doubt inflame jihadist passions throughout Afghanistan. In Pashtun culture, there are at least 3 things that are off-limits: women, religion, and air conditioning. While Chris was wise to refrain from commenting on the first two, an assault on air-conditioning cannot be condoned.

      I stand by my previous post. And further, I posit that Chris Todd is most likely a terrorist to boot.

  2. liberella

    think commenter missed the entire point of article, which was to find a tongue in cheek way of saying: “just stop bombing civilians completely.”

    though commenter makes an incredibly sad but true point re global inequality…

  3. Mitch Mitchum

    I find it highly inappropriate that one would even think of writing something so distasteful. Air conditioning is indeed a luxury that few outside of the US can enjoy. To poke fun at air conditioned houses being blown up just smacks of the author’s narrow-minded American-centric outlook on things. The average Afghan man probably has no idea what air conditioning even is. After hours on Wikipedia and Google Translate, once he finally has an idea of what this article is even laughing at, it will likely dawn on him that he will probably never have air conditioning in his lifetime. He’d probably be happy with just having his house rebuilt. But now we’ve gone and made a double mockery of his living situation. THAT my friends, is how you create terrorists.

    I hope your proud of yourself, Mr. Chris.

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