President Karzai demands NATO troops to stop strikes on homes with AC
KABUL – Afghan President Hamid Karzai is taking a hard stance on NATO-led strikes within his country. In a global declaration, Karzai has asked that NATO discontinue all strikes against homes with air conditioning. He has made it clear that strikes within Afghanistan can continue as long as his people have somewhere to stay cool.
“Afghanistan is really hot and there are only a few homes with air conditioning,” stated a source close to President Karzai. “It would be great if those homes stopped blowing up.”
The United States agrees that the proposed policy is a good one, although they are unsure of how to keep Taliban insurgents from seeking refuge in buildings with central air. Top CIA analysts believe that terrorists enjoy staying cool just as much as innocent civilians. The Pentagon is hoping that their pilot program, which consists of luring insurgents outside using the promise of ice cream and popsicles, will be a big success.
Press Secretary Jay Carney notes, “The White House is already looking into building public swimming pools to hold the Afghan people over until their homes stop exploding.” Polls show that 85% of the American people support the preservation of foreign air conditioning. The other 15% of respondents’ answers ranged from encouraging the use of fans and cold drinks to “just stop bombing civilians completely.”
Karzai made it clear that he appreciates the stability NATO and U.S. forces have brought to his country. He just can’t stand for strikes that leave women and children homeless and sweaty.
By Chris Todd