DailyKos-Current TV to Open Virtual Hemp Store, Interactive Coffee Shop
CYBERSPACE — DailyKos founder Markos Moulitsassas and former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann have announced a new online platform, similar to Second Life, for liberal bloggers to expose the glory of liberalism.
The initial platform will allow users to create virtual avatars, discuss politics, and purchase non-corporate goods and services from online hemp and coffee shops. “We’re trying to take our liberalism to the next level,” said programmer Ivan Klimenatov-tov. “What better way than to do that than to be able to go to a coffee shop in real life with your MacBook and create an avatar that can also go into a coffee shop with his MacBook and complain all day about George Bush.”
DailyKos will first test the platform with its writers. The beta program will allow its writer network to submit articles in exchange for “KosKash” and “OlbyBucks”, which users will then use to purchase virtual Phish T-shirts, hemp pants, and “tobacco-only” glass pipes for their avatars. Avatars will never be allowed to go into any virtual Wal-Mart, McDonald’s or any other place that “exploits the huddled masses”.
“This is actually a great idea,” said Independent political strategist Hammer Stoneguard. “This will allow far-left liberals to vent their anger toward Sarah Palin, but to do so in a place that no one will see them. They’ll just be sitting in a Coffee Bean and enjoying their Double Orange Vanilla Chai Lattes, but in the virtual world, they will be starting a revolution that takes down the corporate pigs who own the very coffee shop that they go to every morning.”
Moulitsassas expects the idea to be huge, particularly in coffee-shop friendly cities where liberals have a strong base. But he is also expecting a great opportunity to work with programmers to create a network that allows far-right Republicans and Conservatives to complain about him and Keith Olbermann all day. For the “far-right Republican” audience, Kos is working on the “Guns and Butter” platform. Early ideas include a virtual petting zoo, an online shooting parlor with various historical boogeymen, and a virtual gun shop where avatars can argue with one another about whom is better at “protecting their families with semi-automatic hand cannons.”
Both programs are expected to launch in early 2012, right before the election campaigns kick into full swing. Calls to Current TV and DailyKos were not returned because everyone is mad that we leaked this fabrication.
By Theodore Lost
Photo courtesy of thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com