Obama Calls for Renewed Copyright of Declaration of Independence, Hates Old Navy “Patriotic” Line
"It's like they're stealing the Declaration of Independence. Plus those shirts look like sh*t." - President Obama
WASHINGTON – In a move designed to increase government revenues in the shadow of a looming debt crisis, President Obama announced that the Department of Justice would start to enforce the 235 year-old copyright on the Declaration of Independence. The auspiciously timed move comes as many Americans are gearing up for today’s 4th of July celebrations .
Obama specifically cited 4th of July shirts sold at Old Navy featuring the founding documents as targets of the first government lawsuit, claiming the shirts to be a “blatant misuse of a copyrighted document that flies in the face of copyright, let alone fashion, laws.”
“Let me be clear,” Obama began as he addressed members of the press gathered in the East Room. “The unlicensed use of the Declaration of Independence during the summer months costs this country over $5.3 billion dollars, money that can be used on things such as health care and preschool.”
Under the Bush Administration, government lawyers opined that the Declaration of Independence, first written in 1776, did not fall under public domain or government exceptions to copyright law. President Bush at the time sought complete control of the document in order to profit on the exportation of freedom to the Arab world. At the time, the Bush administration feared that the export of Chinese reproductions of the document would decrease American market share across the globe.
Copyright laws allow for the reproduction of literary and artistic works, but only if the owner of the copyright is compensated. The compensation for some of the most desirable works can be quite high. Just recently, TV personality Wendy Williams paid $700 for the rights to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ on her talk show – a fact that was not lost on the President.
“You know why you have to listen to that horrible ‘Hap-Hap-Happy It’s Your Birthday’ at TGIFriday’s when you go to celebrate your birthday? It’s because the cats that own the rights to the real ‘Happy Birthday’ will sue the hell out of you. And now its America’s turn to do the same,” Obama concluded.
The President also authorized federal marshals to use appropriate force to quiet small town historical societies, especially those widely known to read the Declaration of Independence at public gatherings. Several of these groups are already announcing their plans to go forward with their public readings in spite of the President’s order.
Karl Van Duisen, President of the Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin Historical Society, challenged the President directly. “I’ve survived three floods, two world wars, and a case of gout. What makes this youngster think he can take me down with something called copyright law? I’m reading the damn thing.”
By Constable Perkins
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Posted by Constable Perkins
on Jul 4 2011. Filed under Off The Hill.
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