Texts From Last Bill: Week of 7/4/11
Much has been made of the phone hacking scandal resulting in the closing of News of the World, but we at The Washington Fancy do not understand all of the hullabaloo. We’ve have been hacking phones for weeks now - how else could we bring you up-to-the-minute reports on what Congress is discussing while in session?
(S.343 A bill to amend Title I of PL 99-658 regarding the Compact of Free Association between the Government of the United States of America and the Government of Palau…)
Sen. John Kerry (D-MA): What the fuck is Palau?
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV): I don’t know, but it’s not in the “Words with Friends” dictionary, so don’t even try it.
(H.R.1022 – Buffalo Soldiers in the National Parks Study Act)
Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA): “Buffalo Soldier…In the Heart of America, stolen from Africa…”
Rep. Stephen Lynch (D-MA): “Get up stand up…Don’t give up the fight” Rep. Keating (D-MA): “Ebony and Ivory… live together in perfect harmony.”
Lynch: That’s not Bob Marley. Keating: I think it is Frank: It’s not, you idiot.
(H.Con.Res.61 – Designating a National Railroad Memorial located in Diamond District Park in historic downtown Durand, Michigan, as the “National Railroad Memorial”)
Rep. Nan Hayworth (R-NY): Do we seriously pour our heart and soul into campaigning, just so we can debate about railroad memorials?
Fmr. Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY): Nope, I did it so I can get paid to research erotic asphyxiation on the internet.
Hayworth: Are there sites for that?
Weiner: Are there sites that aren’t for that?