Joe Biden: “Soccer is Gay”
"Everyone knows that soccer was originally designed as a more advanced version of the playful game "grab-ass." - Vice President Biden
WASHINGTON — Joe Biden stirred controversy on Tuesday when he stated off-the-record that soccer is “gay.” The Vice President made the statement an hour after the Los Angeles Galaxy tied yet ultimately lost to Manchester City in a penalty shootout.
His statement was leaked when a tape recorder inadvertently picked up the comment, and another reporter ran a story the following morning. Despite the gaffe, gay rights leaders were not offended by the statements.
“I don’t mean to equate the words gay and stupid, or gay and lame. People who do that are idiots and lack originality. What I mean is that soccer is actually gay, and I say that in a good way,” Biden had said to the reporter.
“It is the most homosexual experience I’ve ever been a part of… and I’ve been to Fantasy Fest in Key West, and to Castro Street in San Francisco. Soccer is gayer than that. I’ve seen two grown men kiss under a rainbow umbrella, and I’m serious, soccer is far gayer. It’s gayer than nine men going down on seven. No chicks anywhere. Not a boob in the joint. I actually thought it was a pretty interesting experience, and I’m not suggesting that soccer is bad because it’s so gay. It’s a wonderful sport with wonderful athletes. But does Nike know what it’s sponsoring? “‘Just Do It’… Just do what? Kiss a man?”
It had been expected that gay rights leaders would have taken offense to the statement. However, most of the criticism of Biden has actually come from Conservatives and independents. Ironically, representatives from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) representatives actually agreed with the Vice President, and quickly defended his statement.
“He’s right – this sport was actually designed for homosexual men. You can’t use your hands to touch the ball for a reason. The inclusion of a ball simply highlighted whose ass was supposed to be grabbed while he dribbles the ball around the field. Over time, the game became less about exploring sexuality and more about kicking a ball into a giant box. Soccer is an important part of the homosexual community. I don’t understand all this anger over the Vice President’s statements. It’s now just a bunch of straight white people pretending to be offended on our behalf.
GLAAD was not ashamed to admit their love of soccer. “Here at GLAAD, we spend 30 minutes in the morning sending emails and promoting equality, and then at least seven and a half hours a day playing soccer. It’s just in our blood. And that’s a great thing…”
Calls to GLAAD were not returned, but please know that the writer of this article does support gay marriage and equality.
By Theodore Lost
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Posted by Garrett Baldwin
on Jul 25 2011. Filed under Administration.
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