Heat Wave Spreads to D.C., Harry Reid Proposes Naked Senatorial Sessions
WASHINGTON — As the country experiences triple-digit temperatures this past week, Harry Reid is leading other representatives in a proposition for a clothing optional debt debate on Capitol Hill.
“The heat both outside and inside is unbearable. It’s a distraction to the real issues being discussed on the floor,” said Senate Majority Leader Reid. “In order to cool off, I have proposed that we loosen our dress code, to zero dress. Nothing could be distracting about that.”
In his announcement to the press, Reid made it clear that the proposal would not force anybody to get naked. It simply allows those who want to, to debate it out in the buff. In fact, it was noted that some senators were going to be encouraged not to participate, specifically Joe Lieberman.
This proposal is being referred to as a big win for backers of government transparency. However, conservatives in the Senate are planning on blocking the proposal, arguing that the bill does not cut enough clothing.
“I think I can speak for the entire GOP when I say that losing all the clothes in the Senate does not go far enough. There are a lot of aides and interns we would like to involve in this initiative. We won’t vote on anything that does not include young, naked go-getters.”
In a poll investigating Americans’ thoughts on the proposal, 99% of respondents replied that they “just threw up in their mouth a little.” The other 1% passed out at the thought of John Kerry sweaty and naked.
By Chris Todd