Obama Courts Hipster Vote for 2012
This photo was sponsored by Urban Outfitters for the Obama 2012 campaign.
WASHINGTON – Heading into the 2012 Presidential Race, President Obama is ironically vying for approval from a tough demographic – the nation’s 30 million hipsters.
Wearing oversized wire-rimmed glasses and a “Where’s Waldo?” hat, Obama spoke yesterday to a visibly disinterested crowd of young hipsters in the basement of the Piss Club, a former church turned alternative music store and coffee shop in Portland.
“I found these pants in the park across the White House,” Obama said pointing to his tight-fitting trousers. “I think they totes belong to a homeless person. Or Joe Biden.”
Obama also raised serious policy issues regarding the economy and its dire impact on the hipster community.
“Organic soy lattes cost twice as much as they did two years ago,” Obama said. “For those of us who are unemployed, living off a trust fund or working part-time at the local vegan cafe – we can barely afford to download the latest Bon Iver album or even collect obscure 80s records from the local vinyl store.”
Obama said his election platform contains a number of policies directly addressing the needs of Hipster-Americans. These include sustainable animal rights policies and federal subsidies for the granola industry.
After the speech, the president frowned for Polaroid photos with various hipsters in the audience, signed a petition to stop rhinoceros hunting in Turkmenistan and rode away on Unicycle Force One.
“The president’s speech was OK, I guess,” said Turf McGill, a recent arts history graduate in attendance. “I would vote for him if I believed in voting.”
“Lame,” said Angie Sampson, an unemployed singer/songwriter. “I’m going to vote for my cat.”
By Pat Chillé
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Posted by Pat Chillé
on Aug 12 2011. Filed under Election 2012.
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obama is a hipster. him and kesha are basically the same