Sex Pistols, Public Enemy, Metallica Used for Official Soundtrack to London Riots

"Everyone knows you can't riot without pump-up music. We control the Apple store, and the police go mad when we blast shitty British pop music from the '80s." - Anonymous protester

LONDON – The riots across England have been filled with arson, fights, and destruction, but until now, they have wrought havoc without the appropriate music.

A small militant group that has formed amongst the rioters is releasing a CD of official rioting music that they are distributing illegally – and free of charge – to every protestor.

The militant group has collected an eclectic mix of songs that can help elevate the anger and motivate those sitting at home and protesting from their coach. The tracks include The Sex Pistols’ “Anarchy in the UK,” The Beatles’ “Revolution,” and Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power.”

The militant group said, “We don’t care what genre of music it is as long as it inspires people to break shit. Lots o’ shit.” Why The London Symphony Children’s Chorus’ rendition of “London Bridge is Falling Down” is included on the album remains unexplained.

Some of the bands were less than appreciate of the “honor” to be included on a CD that launched a revolution. When Metallica learned that their song “Seek & Destroy” was on the playlist, they immediately filed a lawsuit for copyright infringement. Obviously, they cared not for the political implications in England, but only that they get paid for every song they create.

Other bands, however, were absolutely humbled to have made the playlist. The Sex Pistols felt right at home, and when asked to comment on the rioting and the soundtrack, Johnny Rotten told The Washington Fancy, “It’s amazing to finally see some of the anarchy we had sung about coming to life. We’re honored to have our music fueling the fire. It’s only sad Sid is not alive to see it happen.”

By Kenny Heidt