Rick Perry’s Hair May Seek GOP Nomination
WASHINGTON — Governor Rick Perry has more Twitter mentions than his competition, but Perry’s hair has more press than the man himself. The coiffure has received honorable mention 192,360 times; to give some perspective, that’s nearly as often as Michael Vick refers to himself in third person in one day.
Some say this could be a problem for Perry. “In 2010, misspellings of write-in Senate candidate Milkcowski’s name created a voting nightmare,” says a Washington insider. “If Perry’s hair garners the most votes, will it be nominated alone, or will Perry’s brain and body receive the nomination as well?”
Many say the hair alone stands the best chance of winning. As of now, there are only 46 Twitter mentions of Rick Perry, and none about the candidate’s brain. One of Perry’s campaign advisors said, “We’re launching a focus group to determine whether Republicans would prefer Perry in office, or just his hair.” Liberal news sources have suggested that Democrats may vote for the hair if Obama doesn’t stop “compromising” with conservatives.
By Kate Incandeza