Obama Seeks Compliments, Launches Rival “Attack Watch” Site
Obama's new compliment-tracking site shows that 436 people in America still believe in legitimate "hope" and "change."
WASHINGTON — In an effort to stave off bad press about the snitch alert website called Attack Watch, President Obama’s strategists have launched a new site designed to report the (very limited) number of compliments that have been following the President since his jobs speech tanked last Thursday.
Obama for America launched a new site in response to criticism of it site Attack Watch, a site where Americans can “help stop the attacks on the President before they start,” despite the fact Conservative pundits who have labeled it a laughingstock, as well as a Gestapo-style attempt at preventing free speech.
“RainbowsAndJobs.com” is the first website of its kind that will allow you to “help inform the President that he is still being complimented” by a limited number of Americans, and that some people still believe that rainbows and jobs are possible for everyone if we “just dream harder.”
It’s actually the second time that a website has ever been designed to track compliments. In 2010, former Congressman Anthony Weiner and Congressman Aaron Schock created “RepresentYourAbs.com.” Similar to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s original site Facemash, the Congressmen’s website took multiple candid photographs of both Weiner’s and Schock’s abdominal muscles, placing them side by side on the same page. Users could then vote on which Congressman was in better shape. The site was taken down after Weiner got too distracted having conversations with users on the message boards and offline.
The brand new Rainbows and Jobs has received a great deal of traffic, having been posted to a variety of liberal blogs like Daily Kos that still defend the President and compliment him “each and every day,” according to an intern who spoke on condition of anonymity.
Compliments that have been posted to the site are mainly from elementary school children and long-time liberal voters who, pundit Marc Williamson of InfoStrategy Partners says, while holding up imaginary quotation marks, “are the only people that Obama has left after that whole ‘economy tanking thing’.”
As of Thursday, September 15, select compliments for the President include:
- “President Obama is the greatest President of all time… just like Beyonce had the greatest video of all time… and the movie Hook is the greatest movie of all time… and Danny Devito is the greatest actor of all time… and Betty White is the greatest looking woman of all time…” - Ed Wallace, 75, Dover, DE
- “I think that President Obama is the greatest President and husband off all time. I look at him and Michelle, and I think, they have the kind of love that I could only dream about or see in Disney movies.” – Amanda Cherbal, 18, University of Pennsylvania
- “Hey Barack. I was watching old reruns of Sports Center from like 2009. You really have a hell of a nice signature, when you signed that NCAA board. That “O” in Obama, when you right it [sic], it’s flawless.” – Alex Farrio, 27, Chicago, IL
- “President Obama has the greatest smile that I’ve ever seen. In fact, his smile is so perfect, that I am willing to bet that he is using the brand new Crest Pro-Health Dental Hygiene system… Available for $19.95 at Target, Walmart and other fine retailers. Crest Toothpaste – because you’re going to be eating it soon when the price of corn skyrockets…” – David Marist, 32, Product Strategy, Proctor & Gamble
- “[President Obama’s] ears remind me of my dad’s taxi cab… the wonderful taxi that I loved to drive in with my dad… before President Obama made my dad lose his job. Or at least that’s what my dad tells me… so I just reported him to Attack Watch.” – Peter Mince, 6, Columbia, MD
By Theodore Lost
You May Also Like…
Posted by Garrett Baldwin
on Sep 15 2011. Filed under Headlines.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
Tiger Woods wannabe has to go. Enough of his half ass speeches that go nowhere. Enough of his plan to spend my tax dollars on his bankrupt plans or jobs that cost 667,000 to create and end up on unemployment. Enough of his campaign speeches that continue to divide this country. Unfortunately we have to wait 14 months to put this guy in his favored unemployment line. Americans have to suffer more. In England when the prime minister sucks this bad, they change the government with a no confidence vote. Even the dimocrats gave up on this big-eared purple lip nit wit. We voted in a black man. Great. We need to vote in a Real man like Cain. Any Republican will do…. Put Barry on the golf course… that would be cheaper than his tours of bs around the country.
These ‘compliments’ are hilarious!!
“One and Done in 2012!”