Wisconsin Supreme Court Justices Involved in Judicial “Fight Club”
MADISON — The underside of the dark and dangerous judicial branch was exposed earlier this week when Justice Ann Walsh Bradley accused fellow Justice David Prosser of putting her in a “choke hold” during debate of the constitutionality of the controversial bill.
Apparently, the bill proposed to eliminate collective bargaining rights for Wisconsin state employee. When Justice Prosser tried to transition into his finishing move – the “pile driver” – Justice Bradley was able to tag in her office mate Chief Justice Charles Tubbs dropped Walsh with the People’s Elbow, the signature move of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and then a swift pin.
What happened during deliberations, says Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, is completely outrageous and unacceptable. “The courts have been and should remain to be a sign of justice and equality. No person should have to go to work in fear of physical abuse… especially without the support of their tag team partner.”
Moreover, Walker was furious about the unfair advantage executed by Justices Bradley and Tubbs in a two-on-one match against Prosser. “Everyone knows that Justice “Pounder” Prosser and I are tag team partners, so for Justice “Terrible” Tubbs to have stepped in is disgraceful. I will not rest until Justice Bradley is removed from the Judicial Wrestling Federation (JWF).
But the Justices feel that the blame lies entirely on other hands. “It was TYLER DURDEN – he’s the one who got us mixed up in all of this,” said Justice Tubbs nervously. When The Washington Fancy asked Charles Tubbs for more information, he cautiously looked around before answering and whispered, “Well, I’m not really supposed to talk about it. The first rule of fight club is, you do not talk about fight club.”
Justice Bradley responded with a challenge for a rematch. She said simply, “Any time Governor Walker wants some he can come get some; I don’t need Tubbs to open up a can of whoop-ass.” Political insiders believe that if Walker accepts the challenge he will probably begin to champion a bill stripping collective urination rights for female employees. If passed, the bill would most likely reach the Supreme Court by the summer of 2012.
HBO is already planning a 24/7 mini-series surrounding the rematch.
By Anderson Pooper