Charles Ponzi Brought Back from the Dead in Seance, Defends “Scheme” of Social Security
RIO DE JANIERO—Early 20th century swindler and Italian immigrant (notwithstanding) Carlo Pietro Giovanni Guglielmo Tebaldo Ponzi, better known as ‘Charlie’, has spoken. In a paranormal séance made public through a viral YouTube video, Brazilian cult leader and psychic known only as Touromerda channeled the long-dead criminal at his grave site. It seems he was summoned there in a dream to defend his illegal cash pyramid scheme from recent comparisons to US Social Security.
In the video, the psychic enters a trance after drinking copious amounts of Cachaca – Brazilian rum. He then breaks into an Italian accent while speaking English with New York affectations, lending credibility to the claim that he is, in fact, possessed. In the speech, Ponzi explains that he is embarrassed to be compared to such a horribly designed cash defrauding scheme as the US Social Security system:
“I woulda never devised a system so poor. My scheme paid early investors from the investments of later ones, without having turned a profit on anything legal at all. It was simple. Social Security taxes, withouta consent, many many more people to pay off investors, and carry a enormous bureaucracy, and fund other pork barrel programs that it was not legally drafted for, all the while hiding behind the mask of compassion. I never lied; I told my investors it was about money and greed, right from the beginning. When my scheme ran out of money, it went ‘fallito’ or how you say, ‘tits up.’ When Social Security runs out of money it justa taxes more, even I can’t abide. You tell that Senator Perry, my friend, Social Security is no Ponzi Scheme…not even close, buona notte e buona fortuna, ciao.”
The Psychic Touromerda can also be followed via his Facebook page. There has been no response from either the Perry Camp, or from Social Security Administrators regarding the video.