Unemployment Numbers Up as Thousands Finish Bar Exam
NEW YORK — An economy already fretting about recovery took another hit early this morning as another 42,000 Americans joined the rank of the unemployed as they finished the bar exam. Early data is showing New York, Illinois, and the D.C. area with by far the greatest surpluses of unemployed entry-level lawyers.
The bad news for the legal sector comes after the industry lost another 1,000 jobs in June and 2,300 in July. Despite the recent bad news, the legal industry is still 1,500 jobs ahead of where it stood at this point in 2010 after many employment ups and downs over the past year. However, the turbulent job market is especially troubling for many lawyers-in-waiting.
The scene was especially disturbing in Albany, New York, where the bar exam was administered for all out of state students interested in being authorized to practice in New York. “Oh god!” screamed Jessica Sandolz as she exited the exam looking unkempt after days of studying. “Does no one want to hire me? It was my dream to work in New York and be a power lawyer, just like Miranda Hobbes. Now look at me.”
Other exam takers found solace in the exam’s close proximity to the state unemployment offices. “Albany is a one-stop shop when it comes to broken dreams. It’s efficient in that endearing New York kind of way,” said David Spiegel, who recently graduated from University of Michigan Law School.
Congressional Republicans jumped on President Obama, blaming legal unemployment on the President’s unwavering support of an economic recovery plan that focuses on only blue-collar jobs. “He panders to the unions and makes sure that all their guys get the good work while they suck off millions in pension benefits,” said Pennsylvania Representative Bill Schuster. “It’s about time he looked at the number of unemployed white, middle to upper class men and said, ‘I’m your President, too’ and threw them a bone.”
Obama’s Chief of Staff Bill Daley shared that the White House has proactively taken steps to mitigate the impact which the newly unemployed will have on the economy. “The trend for unemployment to jump after the bar exam is something we have seen every year about this time for over 4 years. It’s like the drop off after seasonal hiring reverses around the holidays. Looking at legal hiring numbers, we knew what was going to happen.” Daley optimistically noted, “They are mostly in the 21-35 year old range. They still have time to go to business school and learn about other aspects of professional development.”
Neal Boogard, a recent American University law student seemed unphased as he left the exam building in Arlington, Virginia. “Sure, I racked up more than $150,000 in student loans and can’t find decent legal employment, but the government gives me health care and I can still use my student ID card to get drink specials at Club Heaven and Hell and hit on college girls. I’m living the dream, bro.”
By Constable Perkins