Obama 2012 Campaign to Begin Partnership with “Just for Men” Hair Coloring Product
"The reason why dictators like Mubarak, Castro, and Gaddafi held on to power so long was because they dyed their hair black. If Obama doesn't get rid of the gray, it could mean the end of his career." - Newt Gingrich
WASHINGTON – After three years of leading the free world through numerous crises and acquiring a disturbing amount of gray hair, President Obama has decided to partner with hair coloring giant Just for Men to reinvent himself with new “hope” and a youthful “change.”
The White House confirmed that the President will appear in several television commercials starting in January 2012 in which he will model the product. “The President sees these commercials as both a way to promote a product he loves dearly, and a way to reach the important 35 to 60-year-old gray hair demographic,” stated campaign spokesman Ben LaBolt.
Appearance has long played a role in electoral politics, but as the 2012 Republican field grows, the President faces potential challenges from several candidates known for both attractive public policy positions and attractive physical appearance.
“Huntsman; Romney; Bachmann; they all appeal to America’s lust for candidates that look youthful and vigorous,” quipped Just For Men spokesman Jennifer Dugan. “The last time America has turned to a black man with gray hair for leadership was when Morgan Freeman beat back meteors in the movie Deep Impact, and we all know how well that turned out for humanity.”
In partnering with Just for Men, President Obama will join a cadre of former sports stars including Keith Hernandez, Walt Frazier, and Emmitt Smith, who have already been featured in commercials for the hair care product. Plans for commercials featuring the athletic president with these legends are unknown at the time, but media consultants see cross-over appeal that can only help the 2012 campaign.
“Just imagine the uptick in polls when Emmitt Smith says to the President, ‘You can’t get elected if that gray goes neglected!’” said D.C.-based media consultant Scott Bronwell. “That thing would play big in Texas and Florida, two swing states that Obama must win.”
Sources close to The Washington Fancy indicate that of all the Republican contenders in the 2012 election, Herman Cain now stands the best chance against Obama, due to his lack of gray hair, or any hair, for that matter.
By Constable Perkins
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Posted by Constable Perkins
on Nov 1 2011. Filed under Administration.
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