Haley Barbour Wins Straw Poll of GOP Candidates Voters Wish Were Actually Running
COLUMBUS, OH—“When the hell did this happen?” asked Haley Barbour; current governor of Mississippi, as someone who has spent the past year adamantly denying any chance that he would run for the GOP nomination in the next election. “Did anyone even know that this s*** was going on? Christie? Daniels? Rubio? Anyone?”
Unfortunately for Mr. Barbour, the answer to that question is no. It appears GOP Chairman Reince Preibus decided to go rogue and administer a straw poll of Republican Presidential candidates in the swing state of Ohio. The caveat with this particular strategy lies in the fact that it was only done with candidates strongly against any further consideration for nomination for the 2012 election.
In the poll itself, Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour emerged as the victor with 43 percent of the vote, trailed by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie with 31 percent, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels with 19 percent, and U.S. Senator Marco Rubio with 5 percent. Surprisingly, former Ohio State University head football coach Jim Tressel managed to garner 2 percent of the vote via write-in – despite the fact that nobody in Ohio even knows what political party Jim Tressel is affiliated with.
Some call it a progressive and inventive step by the GOP chairman to encourage the actual candidates to step up their campaigns and take a more prescient stance regarding the affairs of the country. Others, however, call it a move steeped in excessive, authoritative foolishness.
Between bites of a chili-cheese hot dog on 6th Avenue outside News Corp’s headquarters in New York, Fox News Channel veteran pollster Frank Luntz had the following response; “I mean, I work for Fox News and I didn’t even know this was going on. Normally I am able to contrast and analyze the various voting patterns in different counties of a state based on certain demographic data, but how do you examine the voting tendencies of a state that was polled on illusory candidates?”
By Lorenzo Rearden