White House: Obama Fumbled Nuclear Football 78 Times
Obama's calls for nuclear attacks had his advisors so worried that they replaced the briefcase with an actual football. So far, the President has yet to notice.
WASHINGTON—New papers released by the White House note that President Obama has called for the nuclear football – the briefcase used to launch a nuclear attack – on 78 occasions.
President Obama in particular has been accused of lacking a backbone in regard to issues of foreign relations. However, these accusations have proven to be false with the release of these new papers, which note Obama’s insane level of aggression.
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney exclaimed, “He’s insane! He called for attacks on Iraq, Iran, Australia, Mexico, and Kyrgyzstan. Where the hell is Kyrgyzstan anyway? I don’t even understand why the President would want to destroy a country no one is aware exists.”
Word of Obama’s flagrancy with nukes went public when he attempted to destroy North Carolina, because Scotty McCreery won season 10 of American Idol.
“It’s impossible to contain his rage,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “If you think I’m nuts, you haven’t seen nothing. I’ve seen him stick a fork in the eye of the White House chef for putting olives in his sandwich. I would hate to see what he would do if he found mayo in his sandwich.”
“The President’s mental condition appears to be deteriorating,” said White House psychologist Jodie Lawrence. “I noticed it getting worse when he ordered ‘that zombie virus from 28 Days Later’ to be dropped on Libya.”
President Obama’s insanity is only the most recent in a series of psychosis influenced presidential terms. Jimmy Carter was known to torture live animals while Ronald Regan consumed the souls of America’s youth.
By Peter Coburn
Photo courtesy of huffingtonpost.com
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Posted by Peter Coburn
on Nov 30 2011. Filed under Administration.
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Giggles
obama is black. stick with basketball.
better than the jets!!!!!!!