U.S., Pakistan Announce Break-Up from Bilateral Relationship via Twitter
WASHINGTON—After months of speculation and rumors of an impending breakup, the United States and Pakistan announced today that they are formally splitting up. The two nations, once regarded as the War on Terror’s foremost power couple, announced the split in separate tweets.
“It is with great sadness that @Pakistan and I have decided to end our 10-year relationship,” the United States tweeted. “I ask for privacy during this difficult time. #itsbeenreal.”
“I still love @The_US very deeply,” Pakistan tweeted. “I will miss our crazy, sexy times together. #ratherbewithchina.”
Though the cause for the breakup is not certain, rumors of relationship difficulties have dogged the couple since the US killed Osama bin Laden on Pakistani turf in May. Pakistan, initially unaware of the attack, was reportedly furious over the incident. Speculation over a possible affair between Pakistan and its “ally” China also became a point of discussion after the two nations were photographed leaving an Islamabad restaurant together back in September.
The two nations had been a close item since the War on Terror began in 2001. A mutual love for advanced missile technology and oil profits helped the relationship endure intense public scrutiny and the pressures of a seemingly endless and, at times, completely baffling war.
Foreign Affairs reports that in the wake of the China scandal, Pakistan and the United States had retreated to a vacation resort in the Caribbean in an attempt to mend the relationship.
“Neither of the two countries want to end it,” a source told the magazine after the scandal broke. “They love each other as much as they love bombing the rest of the Middle East.”
By Pat Chillé