Dick Morris Blames Alleged Affair for Recent Verbal Attacks On Obama
Dick Morris, known for his own infidelity, declined to give his own opinion of Bachmann as an "attractive prospect."
WASHINGTON—Fox News political analyst Dick Morris boldly claimed he has dug deep to discover the reason why Michele Bachmann has been waging an aggressive war on President Barack Obama: an affair between the presidential candidate and the president himself.
Morris is citing “a woman scorned” as the motivation behind her combative attack. According to him, the alleged affair started when Bachmann attended Obama’s jobs speech on September 8th and was terminated a few weeks ago by the President for an unknown reason. Morris backs his claim up with evidence that, many are convinced, supports the alleged affair.
Morris presented the facts and witness testimony obtained from his own investigation to a small committee on Thursday afternoon. It was to strong enough to launch an indefinite, full-blown, government sanctioned investigation into this matter. Questioning could begin as soon as Monday morning, though the exact commencement date has yet to be confirmed. Morris urged the committee members to give this their full attention, and they are doing just that.
Evidently, everyone who is not directly related to this has something to say. When White House assistant Betty Donaldson was questioned, she firmly announced, “Michelle Obama has been laying on the floor in the hallway for hours, trying to conjure spirit guidance and assistance through this difficult time. She is shaken to the core, which is a result from the ghosts.” The specific hallway Donaldson makes reference to is the location Michelle Obama told children back in April 2009 was haunted. There is widespread speculation that this extreme reaction from the first lady shows at least a dash of possible truth behind this.
Not all Americans have boarded the “affair allegation train.” Said one D.C. tourist to a reporer for The Washington Fancy, “The only thing worse than these false claims, is that they are happening during election year.” He then continued to display his contempt for Morris, and referred to him as “a school yard bully kicking up sand,” hoping it will end with an unspecified politician burying their head for some reason or another who does not think Morris had any merit for throwing this alleged affair into airspace. The tourist’s party affiliation was not mentioned.
At this time, the camps for both Bachmann and Obama are remaining tight-lipped on this, while America remains on standby, waiting for something to happen.
By Jessica Wachtel
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Posted by JWachtel
on Dec 12 2011. Filed under Off The Hill.
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