New Year’s 2012 Cancelled in Plan to Stop World Ending
A poll taken said that 95% of the American people do not care about the year change as long as The Dark Knight Rises comes out on July of whatever the coming year turns out to be.
By J. Everett Ledeman
New York— The United Nations declared today that the upcoming New Year’s Eve will be cancelled and will not usher in the year 2012 as had been previously expected. Instead, this year’s midnight of December 31st will bring about the year 2013, in a bid to try and prevent the Mayan-predicted apocalypse sometime in 2012.
“We firmly believe that this slight mathematical adjustment to the calendar could prevent truly catastrophic events from occurring sometime within the next 12 months and some odd days,” announced Ban Ki-moon, Secretary General of the UN.
The decision came after numerous pressures from groups such as The Aztecs of America, The Illuminati, The Democrats, and those guys who put up all the ads on the buses last summer (they’re convinced it’s real this time). “Whatever you think of the change, the UN is trying to do its best in protecting the world, as it has done so well in the past,” said Herbert Foster, an esteemed Ivy League political science professor. “And doing it fairly too.”
The decision has been met with both applause and protest, even spawning an Occupy 2013 movement, in the few hours since it has been announced. President Barack Obama, has not issued an official statement, however a source in the White House has said that he’s annoyed he’s going to have to throw out the Puppy Desk Calendar that he had already purchased for
2012.
There is still discussion about perhaps going ahead even one more year to avoid the unlucky-according to superstition-2013. Oddly enough much of the pressure there has come from Europe. An official decision on the year this New Years will be determined the afternoon of December 31st.
Happy New Year
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