Connecticut to Obama: If the Rich are Taxed, We Will Secede
HARTFORD, CT — After Obama’s suggested a proposal to tax the wealthiest tier of the American population, Connecticut is preparing to take a cue from Texas and secede. “We don’t want to do it,” Governor Dannel P. Malloy says, “but you don’t mess with Connecticut.”
As the state with the highest median income, Connecticut’s population would be heavily affected by the proposed tax. “We may be Democrats, but that doesn’t mean we want all of our money taken,” said Melanie Wyatt, millionaire and Hartford resident.
Democrats have begun demonstrating en masse across the state. “All these years I have donated money to homeless people, and now the government wants to tax me? I don’t think so,” said Richard Benton. “I’d rather just become a new country — as is, I consider the rest of the U.S. a lesser nation,” Leah Stamkos said.
When asked what he thought of Connecticut borrowing from Texas’ “negotiating style,” Rick Perry was unimpressed. “I respect threatening to leave the country over a minor inconvenience, but that’s our thing.”
By Kate Incandeza