Study Shows Senate IQ Rose After Dodd’s Departure

By David Epstein

WASHINGTON – In a newly released study by the nonpartisan American Center For America, the average IQ of the Senate rose by five points immediately following the departure of Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd.

Senator Dodd decided to leave the Senate after running for president, where he raised over $13 million and then received 0% of the vote in Iowa. He then was named head of the Motion Picture Association of America, the major trade association for the movie industry, after saying, “Who wants to be president of a trade association?”*

The authors of the study point to several factors that contributed to Dodd’s diminishing of the average IQ in the Senate. “He was head of the Senate Banking Committee, and at the same time he was personally receiving an unusually low mortgage rate from Countrywide Financial,” said study co-author Jim Valencia. “The Senate Ethics Committee looked into it, and they believed Dodd’s explanation that he had no idea he was receiving a personal deal from a company that his Committee was in charge of overseeing. So he’s clearly an idiot.”

Dodd’s recent actions as head of the MPAA have also factored into the study’s assessment. The Association pressured lawmakers to support the anti-piracy bills SOPA and PIPA, which many argued would give the government and corporations the power to censor the internet. Pressure from activists and many websites eroded support for the bills, which have since been tabled.

After this legislative defeat, Dodd explicitly threatened to cut off money to politicians who went against the MPAA’s wishes. “Now of course, that’s how lobbying works in Washington,” said Valencia. “But other lobbyists aren’t stupid enough to say that out loud in public.”

The Senate’s average IQ has fluctuated greatly in the past few years, and now hovers around 90. President Obama’s departure caused the average to drop when he left, since he had actually written his own book, and not relied on a ghost writer like every other politician. Other departures that helped the average were those of Sen. Even Bayh’s and Sen. Jim Bunning’s. Bayh decided not to run for reelection after saying that the influence of lobbyists and divisive media had become too great. Bayh has since been hired by lobbying firm McGuireWoods and as a commentator on Fox News. Senator Bunning, a former pitcher with the Detroit Tigers and the Philadelphia Philies, made rambling, often incoherent speeches on the Senate floor that usually ended up with him recounting the time he pitched a perfect game against the New York Mets.

(*Actual quote)

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