PETA Calls for Animal Abortion Rights; Planned Parenthood Reaches Out to New Species
By Douglas Timothy
ORLANDO — Last week a federal judge threw out PETA’s charges that captive whales in SeaWorld water parks should be granted 13th Amendment rights spelled out in the Constitution. The notion that the trained orcas are slaves didn’t pass muster with the court, and was dismissed amid heavy media attention.
Some might think the animal rights organization would crawl away with its tail between its legs, but just the opposite has occurred. PETA’s acting President, Ingrid E. Newkirk, sent out a press release that is sure to get the blogosphere buzzing:
“While the world focuses once again on the Catholic Church’s stubborn denial of the right to abortion, captive species in zoos all over the world are crying out for those same basic services. Conservatives have always suppressed stories of sign language-speaking chimpanzees that communicate a desire for abortion, but the problem doesn’t end there. Aborted whales might be as big as a Volkswagen, but rights are rights. And PETA will fight for those rights regardless of the species, starting today.”
Planned Parenthood, the non-profit agency that specializes in abortion (among many other health services), was taken off guard by the statement. The nation’s long time leader in abortion rights, analysts argue that Planned Parenthood would want to be the ones spearheading such a campaign.
While both Planned Parenthood and PETA both have strong ties to the liberal activists, Newkirk’s new directive may very well cause divisions amongst high level donors with dual loyalties.
Asked for his reaction to the news, John Boehner showed no hesitation: “There will never be a doctor in a scuba suit providing partial-birth whale abortions in the 8th District of Ohio. Period. And I’m not just saying that because we don’t have a SeaWorld, or because whales don’t have necks. Or do they? I’m not sure. I’ll have to get back to you on that.”
Lawyers for PETA have promised to provide more details later this week.