New Tax Holiday Legislation Would Give Corporations Free Trips To Hawaii
By Kenny Heidt
WASHINGTON – As members of congress and aspiring politicians continue to argue over how to create more jobs in America, Senators John McCain and Kay Hagan think they have discovered the answer: a tax holiday for corporations.
However, this is not just a simple tax cut; the tax holiday proposed in Senators McCain and Hagan’s bill is a literal vacation in Hawaii for CEOs of every Fortune 500 company in the United States.
The legislation would allocate government funds to use on an extravagant Hawaiian vacation during the spring of 2012. The government would pay to gas up the corporate jets that would fly every CEO to Honolulu, where they would spend six days and seven nights in Halekulani, one of Hawaii’s luxury hotels. There would be luaus and special parties for the CEOs to gather together and mingle.
During the visit, several congressmen and senators would be assigned to the CEOs and try to persuade them to bring jobs back to America by buying them dinner and exorbitant amounts of alcohol. Senator McCain told The Washington Fancy, “It’s sort of the old time-share strategy. We get the CEOs to this nice location, get them drunk, then get them to do something they’ll probably regret later.” This is also a similar strategy that date rapists use, but the Senator negated to comment on that.
The legislation, which was proposed last week, is gaining traction on both sides of the aisle. It seems both Democrats and Republicans like the idea of a free vacation to Hawaii, even if they would have to lobby during the trip. Responding to the possible legislation, President Obama told the press, “Sure, I go to Hawaii and I’m not working hard enough. They go to Hawaii and suddenly it’s an American Jobs Bill. Go figure.”