GOP Faced with Hard Decision: Romney or Manning?

By Shaun Kunz

INDIANAPOLIS—Colts’ long time quarterback Peyton Manning,waved a tearful goodbye to his team this week and has begin a three state tour in search of a new job.

The GOP faithful has now become a new name to consider for the 2012 Presidential General Election. Peyton Manning’s handlers have not yet responded, nor ruled out the possibility.

As Manning gains popularity and and positive public opinion in his visits to Denver, Miami and Arizona, the GOP candidates continue to split delegates, state after state. An interesting mathematical reality is thus beginning to unfold: according to an email campaign sent by Manning’s agent (a freelance campaign consultant on the side), no GOP candidate will have enough delegates to claim the nomination by convention time.

“The Super Tuesday data was anything but super,” Manning’s press agent, Haywood Jaghetowt, told The Fancy. “Romney barely won Ohio, while Santorum took that other state. The nomination decision will come down to an actual delegate vote at the convention in Tampa, a city in dire need of a quarterback as well. We will be the dark horse, get on the Peyton Manning 2012 bandwagon now.”

When asked about the rumors of his brother’s possible candidacy, Eli Manning reportedly said, “Our last name is mud in New England, but he’s got New York, Louisiana, the Midwest, Tennessee, and maybe the Left Coast now that Al Davis [former Oakland Raiders owner] is dead.”

No matter what the hidden motives may be behind Peyton Manning’s tri-state tour, the idea of a V.P. job is out of the question. Manning made it clear he is not on the hunt for a back-up position – that job is rumored to be for Tebow.

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