Criminal Sees “No Guns” Sign in Front of School, Changes Mind


By: Andrew Bryant

PHOENIX – Controversy is stirring this week as Arizona’s House of Representatives passed a bill to repeal the ban on guns within 1,000 feet of schools. Many Democrats object that the bill will jeopardize the safety of schoolchildren statewide, while pro-gun Republicans argue that the ban has little effect other than to disarm law-abiding citizens.

Seeking more insight on the situation, The Washington Fancy was able to interview an anonymous would-be criminal outside of a high school in Glendale, AZ.

“I just planned on shootin’ the place up a little,” reveals the respondent, “you know, just scare my classmates and stuff. Maybe pop a cap in my history teacher’s a** so he can’t sit down no more…nothin’ serious.”

The respondent went on to disclose that on his way into school that morning, he noticed the “No Guns Allowed” sign and swiftly changed his mind.

“I wasn’t tryin’ to get in no trouble or nothin’!” he admitted nervously.

The Fancy also managed to catch up with Gov. Jan Brewer, who reaffirmed her position on the matter.

“We’ve had great success with these “No Gun” signs posted in school zones,” she explains. “Not only would those criminals be receiving consecutive life sentences for murder, but tack on that extra 10 years for carrying a weapon near a school and it then becomes a pretty dissuasive argument.”

Gov. Brewer began to describe Arizona’s new plan of action in regards to the successes of the original gun ban signs.

“Districts will be adding signage to other areas of town as well. We soon will have ‘No Robbing’ signs in front of banks and convenient stores, ‘No Terrorism’ signs in airport terminals, and ‘No Raping’ signs in the shady back alleys downtown….I hope this works.”


Posted by on Mar 19 2012. Filed under Off The Hill. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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