Santorum to Hold “6900 Lecture Series” to Combat Porn


By Joe “The Nerd” Ferraro

Below is a list of preliminary questions that Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum plans to address in the commencement of his 6900 Lecture Series.

_________

6901 – Will President Rick don a cape and a cowl like Batman to start fighting porn?

6902 – Will there be a Department of Homeland Pornography In the Santorum Administration?

 

6903 – Will this department have more funding or less funding than:

6903.a – Department of Education?

6903.b – Department of Energy?

6904.c – Department of Commerce?

 

6905 – Will this office be reporting directly to the President?

6906 – Will they convert the War Situation room to a screening theater for this department?

6907 – How much will President Ricky get to watch?

6908 – Will the public have access to the porn that President Ricky will be watching and evaluating?  (Sorry – I keep thinking of that movie Little Ricky.)

6909 – Since the President Ricky can’t watch it all himself, who gets to watch all the porn on the internet to rate it?

6910 – What are the qualifications for these positions?

6911 – Is there going to be a civil service exam for these positions?

6912 – Is this a job function that will be outsourced to a firm like Xe or Haliburton?

6913 – Are there going to be occupational safety limits set for those who are evaluating the stuff online?

6914 – How many hours a day can a civil servant watch porn online?

6915 – Will these civil servants be allowed to unionize?

6916 – Will there be a pass/fail system on the whether something is porn?

6917 – Will there be government set porn classifications?

6918 – Will there be a rating system for the content placed in the media – kinda like USDA Choice or USDA Select when you buy meat?

6919 – If something is found to be porn – what will the government do with it?

6920 – Under the Freedom of Information Act would the public be allowed to review the material that is subject to being regulated?

6921 – Could this backfire and porn producers start making porn to the standards set – kinda like teaching our kids to the standardized testing models?

6922 – Will there be people doing time for making porn?

6923 – Will they be allowed to make porn while they are doing time?

 

6924 – How much will this cost the country?

6924.a – in terms of person power to get to this Santorum utopia?

6924.b – in terms of tax dollars to rate this stuff?

6924.c – in terms of tax dollars to regulate this stuff?

6924.d – in terms of prisons to house the offenders?

6924.e – in terms of who we are as Americans?

 

6925 – Can you really call this a free country if we allow the government to go this far?


Posted by on Mar 23 2012. Filed under Election 2012. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Have a comment? Tell us what you think!

*

Newsletter

The Washington Fancy is a political satire publication that parodies the news and composes fictitious articles. No composition should be regarded as truthful,
and no reference of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.

Copyright © TheWashingtonFancy.com LLC 2014 All Rights Reserved. Website design customized by Friedman Creative

Read more:
"What? I am so confused." - Cheech Marin
Frank-Paul Marijuana Bill Ignites Talk of Tax Hike on “The Munchies”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In light of new marijuana legislation currently being presented to Congress, some lawmakers have begun to discuss the possibility...

Close