US Treasury Dept. Awards $3.5 Billion Contract for Nuclear-Powered Printing Presses


The DoE seeks to put nuclear energy to an innovative use without incurring moral costs. Still, Japan is the first country to reject any international nuclear-powered printing.

Guest Contributor: Robert Glennon, Hingham, MA

WASHINGTON — In a surprise announcement today, the U.S. Department of the Treasury awarded a $3.5 billion no-bid contract for a top-secret housing complex with undisclosed nuclear printing technology.

The contract awarded to General Electric is expected to meet the nations currency demands well into the 21st century.  Acting in conjunction with the Department of of Energy, The Treasury chose awarded the contract to GE due to their expertise in the nuclear field and their close connections to the Obama Administration.

According to Treasury Undersecretary Violet Weatherbottom, ”Due to increasing budget deficits, we cannot keep up with growing currency demands and are straining the existing electrical and printing infrastructures. We must plan for the future now.”

GE plans to have the presses operational by 2020; financial experts predict the total US debt to top $35 trillion dollars by then.

Weatherbottom went on to say, ” With the presses running at full capacity, we envision a deb- free America within 10 years.”

Department of Energy spokesman Varoom Potter explains that the nuclear printing presses are consistent with Obama’s focus on utilizing clean energy solutions. ”DoE and GE investigated solar, wind and even algae-based energy solutions. We have an enormous amount of one hundred dollars to print, nuclear just makes sense. Once the national debt has been paid off we will redirect the power to over 300,000 homes.”


Posted by on Mar 27 2012. Filed under Headlines. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

1 Comment for “US Treasury Dept. Awards $3.5 Billion Contract for Nuclear-Powered Printing Presses”

  1. Viktor

    For the love of God, keep writing these artciels.

Have a comment? Tell us what you think!

*

Newsletter

The Washington Fancy is a political satire publication that parodies the news and composes fictitious articles. No composition should be regarded as truthful,
and no reference of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.

Copyright © TheWashingtonFancy.com LLC 2014 All Rights Reserved. Website design customized by Friedman Creative

Read more:
Congress in session
Congress Season Finale Ends on Financial Cliffhanger

By James Shea WASHINGTON -- With only 21 more days until its conclusion, fans of the fast-paced legislative branch, Congress,...

Close