Conservative Washingtonians Disgusted by Airships “Coupling” Over DC Skies
WASHINGTON — Thousands of DC residents who were outside enjoying the sunshine were shocked and disturbed to see two aircraft obviously coupling overhead.
“I had to bring my children indoors, they were so upset,” complained Daisy Johnson, horrified mother of four. “It was like being at the zoo when the monkeys go at it.”
NASA officials were put quickly on the defensive as their switchboard was inundated with angry calls. “If the Good Lord had intended for us to see machines mating, there would be a website set up for it,” asserted Pastor Levon Brown of The First Washington Baptist Church. “If it’s not bad enough we have to see sinning here on Earth, now we see it when we gaze up at the heavens. This is an outrage.”
Preston Clean, spokesman for the governmental agency, was quick to allay fears. “The Boeing 747 was just bringing the Shuttle Discovery in for a landing for frick sakes! People are so stupid!”
Clean offered a retraction and apology after a call from the president, advising that further landings will occur in godless Canada to avoid upsetting the Republican base.