Administration Touts New Green Energy Initiative
By Chris McKerracher
WASHINGTON — The White House has announced a new “green technology” initiative as part of their strategy to reduce US dependency on foreign oil.
Officials from both the Environmental Protection Agency and the Department of Energy were on hand for the announcement.
“This new initiative is so simple, I can’t believe it wasn’t conceptualized before,” crowed Department of Energy spokesman Stu Pidass. “This new source of sustainable, renewable energy has been right under our noses all along.”
The plan, as outlined by the agency officials, is to render down environmentalists for their fat content and have it refined into gasoline for the nation.
“In our preliminary testing,” explained Pidass, “we’ve discovered even a fairly small chapter of the Sierra Club can run a Hummer for two weeks non-stop. The best part is, though, no matter how many “Greenies” we process, there are lots more where they came from. They appear to grow wild clear across the country.”
Republican strategists were quick to find fault with the plan, however. They noted that due to the increased interest in the commodity, the price of environmentalist bellies on the futures markets were sky-rocketing and may ultimately inhibit the initiative’s cost-effectiveness.
White House officials responded by saying it’s just one thrust of their program, and that they wanted to demonstrate “they will do anything to keep gas prices low before the election”.
You May Also Like…
Posted by CMcKerracher
on Apr 18 2012. Filed under Administration.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
