Hillary Clinton Announces Ballsy Move, Will Join Professional Bowlers Circuit
By Chris McKerracher
WASHINGTON — If Barack Obama regains the presidency this November, he will officially be looking for a new Secretary of State.
Hillary Clinton has announced she will not seek a seat in the upcoming election in order to pursue her dream of joining the Professional Bowlers Circuit.
Clinton admitted, with a slight blush to her usually controlled, chiseled features, that drinking beer and knocking a few pints down during a fundraiser at New York’s Leisure Time bowling alley, was an epiphany for the long-time politico.
“I had no idea banging back a half dozen Old Milwaukee’s and throwing heavy balls along a polished wooden surface could be so satisfying!” she enthused. “Travelling the world and schmoozing with the rich and powerful is okay,” she said, “but this bowling thing is fantastic! Why didn’t anyone tell me about it before? I thought it was a prehistoric pastime since I’d only ever seen it on The Flintstones.”
Dressed in a conservative pantsuit and red clown shoes, Clinton cut quite the figure as she demonstrated her prowess; hitting twelve strikes in row seemingly effortlessly.
“I mean, there’s nothing to this game,” she gloated. “I just picture Bill’s face on the headpin and BAM!”