Secret Service Operative Fired For Lack of Judgment
WASHINGTON — Highly placed officials in the Secret Service have forced “early retirement” on operative David Randall Chaney for his gross display of poor judgment.
“He was checking out Palin, for crying out loud,” snorted the disgusted SS spokesman. His identity is being kept secret due to threats of water-boarding for non-compliant reporters at the press conference.
“Palin, of all women,” he spat. “Has he no taste? That would be bestiality in some states. She was even wearing a trench coat. What’s he going to see from the back? Her calves? Is this guy a calf man or what?”
The angry official continued to fume. “I could understand if she had been a hottie – Michelle Obama, maybe, or Heather Locklear, but Palin? That definitely shows a clear lack of judgment that will not be condoned by this department. Our standards are way too high.”