Julius Caesar, Inspired by Rick Santorum, Reincarnated for Presidential Election
Caesar recently created a Facebook profile, and even re-tweeted a quote from The Iliad to adapt his communication skills to the 21st century.
By Teddy Moss
ROME – With Rick Santorum recently bowing out as a GOP candidate, one ambitious politician is trying to seize the day: Gaius Julius Caesar, running as an independent, under the reformed Caesarian party.
When asked what prompted his return to politics, after a two thousand year hiatus, Caesar said, “I just thought it was my time again. I really respected what Rick [Santorum] was doing, but I thought this was a good opportunity for me.” It comes as a surprise to many analysts that Caesar chose now to make his return to politics, with one even joking, “we can still see his scars.”
Previously dictator in perpetuity for the Roman Republic, Caesar was famously stabbed to death by members of the senate, but in his second go-around, seemed rather confident about reentering the political arena. “ I learned a lot in my early years, what to do and what not to do, my strengths and weaknesses as a person and politician.” When asked if he bore any resentment to his assassins, Caesar admitted, ” I mean I would be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked, but they were just doing what they had to do and I respect that. I would have probably done the same thing if I was in their position. I think that attitude is essential in all politicians.”
Caesar is running on a populist platform of debt relief, public works, and reduced taxation. However, it is widely speculated that economic reform could make or break each candidate. On this, Caesar joked, “we once made Greek slaves handle finance, but obviously that’s no longer an option to us.”
Caesar is playing all of his cards right, making him a potential sleeper candidate in the 2012 election. But as one analyst said, ”Don’t sleep on him for too long.”
You May Also Like…
Posted by Guest
on May 8 2012. Filed under Election 2012.
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0.
You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.
