Trump Colonoscopy Reveals Romney Blockage
By Chris McKerracher
WASHINGTON — Doctors who performed a colonoscopy procedure on reality TV show host Donald Trump were surprised to find that a sizeable blockage in the patient’s colon was none other than presidential hopeful Mitt Romney.
“We knew Mr. Trump exerted considerable influence on Mr. Romney, but we had no idea it was to this extent,“ claimed world-renowned colonoscopist, Dr. Melvin Sidebottom. “Previous to this, the oddest item we ever found lodged in a digestive track was when we did this same procedure on Rosanne Barr and discovered a mini-bar from a Travelodge in Vermont.”
Neither Dr. Sidebottom nor any of his medical team was willing to speculate how the Republican nominee ended up there or what forces might have been behind it.
“In my practice, we’ve had to remove all kinds of things from the “Hershey Highway,” chuckled Sidebottom. “Everything from light bulbs to gerbils. This was our first elected official, however.”
Romney could not be reached for comment until longer forceps could be located.