Romney Considers Democratic Newark Mayor Cory Booker for VP Slot
By S. G. Lawrence
NEWARK — Democratic Newark Mayor Cory Booker, who recently described experiencing his “come to Jesus moment” when he raced into a burning Newark home to save an elderly woman and her daughter, has just been added to Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s “short list” of 5 likely leading VP candidates.
Working off a tip from a member of an Orthodox Jewish congregation near Paramus, TWF’s photographers captured Booker on camera boarding a late Saturday night flight from White Plains, New York to Detroit, where he is scheduled to meet secretly over the course of two days with Romney at the Presidential candidate’s Livonia, Michigan campaign headquarters.
Disguised as an Orthodox Rabbi with full beard, fur hat and and carrying several sacred heavy Jewish texts, Mayor Booker was able to give media reporters the slip. The Romney campaign devised the idea of having Booker travel incognito as an Orthodox Rabbi after reading an article penned by the Newark Mayor’s longtime friend from Oxford, Republican New Jersey Congressional contender, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. Boteach revealed how Booker had served as the president of Boteach’s Orthodox Jewish Student organization at Oxford, a group that was so hip and ecumenical that it accepted not only gays but also Catholics from Spain, Germans from Berlin and Islamic students from Jordan and Saudi Arabia.
Several calls to Romney’s chief VP candidate vetter, Beth Myers, remain unreturned, but the TWF was able to speak to a Washington DC intern working for A.B. Culvahouse, who compared the VP vetting process to “having a colonoscopy without anesthesia.” Apparently, said the intern, if Booker was indeed on Romney’s short list, that his “colonoscopy” was likely to go places even Sarah Palin couldn’t imagine.
After the recent fallout between the Obama administration and Booker, the former Massachusetts governor decided it was time to pounce. “We think Booker is the real deal, and we’re going to find out soon if we’re right,” said an anonymous Romney spokesperson. “Everyone in New Jersey thinks Booker is a superhero, and they’re also really upset with the President’s flip flop on Gay Marriage, not to mention his joke about Michelle not “going all the way down” in her pushups with Ellen Degeneres.”
In related news, one former Clinton operative called Obama a name off the record that the WTF will not reprint, telling us if we were nervous to just quote him saying that “the Obama team is mean.” But WTF’s sources have learned that Bill Clinton himself joked about a new Romney Bumper Sticker saying: “Bill Clinton thinks I’m Sterling but Cory Booker, Wisconsin and Obama’s 56 Other States Think I’m Gold.”