Cops Beat Rodney King Again, Cause Funeral Delays
By Shaun Kunz
LOS ANGELES– Rodney King, star of the first Viral Video in history and contestant on Celebrity Rehab, died Monday from what the LA Coroner’s office is calling, “Je ne sais quois.”
The “Can’t We All Just Get Along?” movement founder’s funeral was delayed by the procession of LAPD Fife and Drum Corp on its way to the same cemetery. It seems Mr. King was beaten by the police yet again.
“This is an outrage!” noted one attendee. “The LAPD didn’t even bury anybody, they just wanted to get there first. You know how slow you gotta drive when you are following a funeral?”
“Try being in a funeral, following a bunch of slow walking cops,” Maria Conchita-Alfonso, The Fancy’s East LA and Compton correspondent reported. The procession included a LA Calvary Baptist Church van, three Cadillacs and one Peterbilt Semi truck with an unidentified, long haired white male driver.
In response to being beaten by the LAPD, again, the family and friends of Rodney King called for a repeat of the riots which tore up parts of LA in 1992. The caveat this time, according to family lawyer, Johnnie Cochran Jr, is that the loot will be taken directly to the gravesite, where it will be retrieved by unnamed personnel at a later time. Only sporadic reports of Food Truck illegal parking citations near the cemetery have thus far been reported.
So far, no large scale acts of violence or orchestrated marches have been announced to protest what has been called “Getting Treated Like a King by the LAPD.” The moniker is appearing on t-shirts, bumper stickers, on Facebook and other social media sites. The online sales seem to be concentrated in the white suburban college towns. A KING 2012 video has been rumored and accompanying non-profit center is said to be existent.
King’s death came as a surprise. The 47-year-old was said to be an avid swimmer. His body was found face down in a swimming pool with a note attached to the back pocket of his jeans. The note simply read, “Kiss This!”
Neighbors say they heard a grown man sobbing earlier in the evening, but attributed it to the Barry White blaring from the speakers. They allegedly heard, according to KNWA-Compton, his fiancé yelling at him, threatening to drown him while calling out, “die muthafu**a!” and then a lot of splashing.
The same LA prosecutor’s office who failed to convict both the LAPD police which beat Mr. King in ‘92, the “Yeah I shot my dad, reloaded and shot my mom” Menendez Bros, and OJ Simpson, said that no charges will be filed against the fiancé.