With Obamacare Now Constitutional, Millions Drop Dead
Washingtonians take to the streets after the health care ruling, with some "dropping dead" after hearing the news.
By Peter Coburn
WASHINGTON—The Supreme Court upheld the Patent Protection and Affordable Healthcare Act on a 5-4 decision last Thursday, June 28th. Although the act was designed with the healthcare of American citizens in mind, it is beginning unintended consequences.
“Obamacare – over my dead body!” shouted Kevin Lambart, said a DC protestor in May. Reports provided by Lambart’s family say that he dropped dead the moment he heard the news of the Supreme Court’s decision. This was the start of a deadly trend in the United States, where approximately 50% of citizens were against the healthcare overhaul.
“It was insane,” reported Washington Fancy reporter Gerould Loboski from a Tea Party protest in Tampa Bay, Florida. “Heads started exploding left and right! I haven’t seen this many sudden deaths on principal since the Clinton impeachment acquittal back in 1998.”
The physical causes of the explosions are currently unknown, but they have been causally linked to the President and his healthcare act. Some believe it is the result of red scare propaganda, which was used as a catalyst during the Cold War, developing in the brains of infected hosts, only to be released by the words “Obama” and “success.”
The sudden deaths occurred on such a grand scale that the Surgeon General Regina Benjamin was forced to comment, “For the health and welfare of all Americans, calm the f*** down!”
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Posted by Peter Coburn
on Jul 6 2012. Filed under Administration.
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