Outraged Chick-fil-A Chickens Go on Strike
By Sunny Yan
ATLANTA –In response to Chick-fil-A’s president Dan Carthy’s inflammatory, anti-gay comments in support of the “biblical definition of the family unit,” chickens from nation-wide suppliers’ facilities have gone on strike.
The Official Organization of Working Chickens issued the following statement on its Facebook page: “As the main food source of Chick-fil-A, we do not associate with the company’s intolerant stance towards LGBT rights.”
However, not all within the domesticated chicken community agree with this progressive agenda. Cory Kock, a rooster from the Foster Farm facility in Franklin, Kentucky, supports Carthy’s position. “If we allow gays to marry, what will it be next? We may as well allow it with animals next.”
The Official Organization of Working Chickens is also pressing charges against what the organization calls “Chick-fil-A’s discriminatory policies against homosexual chickens.” The chickens allege that the company forces chickens to disclose private personal information, including involvement in community and church service for employment consideration. The company does not, however, ask future chicken employees to answer any questions regarding their sexuality, due to a de facto company “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
Thankfully for the chickens, there have been strong public reactions to such allegations. In a turn of events, gay activists who once supported a franchise boycott are now encouraging the public to purchase and consume Chick-fil-A products, helping to support the “closeted gay chickens” that are being served at the franchise.
The anti-gay movement’s reaction has been to boycott their previous patronage; they claim an inability to “ethically consume gay chicken,” but have no problem with eating “heterosexual chicken pumped with additives, just as God intended.”
Consequently, cows from various farming facilities around the nation are boycotting the anti-gay boycott in support of chicken equality, and what might potentially turn into the Third Wave of Domesticated Animal Equality.