Obama Laments Reelection: “Those Last Four Years… Bush Built That!”
By Shaun Kunz
WASHINGTON — During an underwhelming speech today in which President Barack Obama reinforced his monetary policy of the rich paying more so that the middle-class can pay less, the President reached in his back pocket and retrieved a folded piece of paper.
In his all-too-well-known, charismatic delivery, the president returned to his old mantra of “The economy of the last four years… Bush built that!”
He listed, “…an insurmountable debt, bloated government, and an unacceptable jobless rate…” as his inheritance from the previous four years to a raucous applause. The crowd, consisting mostly of democrats, was joined by a large number of libertarians and swing voters in a standing ovation. The speech was capped with a promise to close Guantanamo Bay.
According to The Fancy’s White House Correspondent and Rose Garden Lawn Jockey, Miles O’Keefe, the President’s words were spoken with conviction and without the infamous teleprompter. The feelings of empathy from a crowd of mixed voters seemed to be unanimous. They all agreed that the previous presidency was solely to blame for the problems.
Afterward, WHCoS, Jack Lew blogged: What the president meant was, “Remember when I had to inherit the mess I claimed to have inherited? Feel that way again? Bush built that. It just came out sideways.”
Representatives of the Romney camp were in Tampa, conducting important cigar research in preparation for the RNC. When asked for a reaction, Campaign cigar advisor Sam “Big Sam” Rodriguez replied, “I think he’s finally on to something. He’s gone a little retro. Shame about the last four years. Can’t wait until we spin this one. Got a light?”
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Posted by Shaun Kunz
on Aug 3 2012. Filed under Uncategorized.
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