Washington-Based Liberal Think Tank Springs Leak
By Steven Tobiasz
WASHINGTON — Democrats across the country paused in fear early this morning as the tank that is believed to contain the basis for all liberal ideology sprung a massive leak.
Around 2 AM EST on Wednesday morning, a night security guard began noticing a small
crack in the tank’s outer wall, as small amounts of the liberal fluid – said to be
“sacred” – began pouring onto the floor.
More information about this incident will be available as it unfolds.
UPDATE: As of 9:45PM AM (ET)
The Liberal Think Tank, which sprung a leak from a small crack early Wednesday morning, is said to be repaired and is no longer a threat to the Democratic Agenda.
A spokesman for the Democratic Party announced that they are “no longer” worried about
losing their ideology, as a full investigation is already underway to determine how the tank became cracked in the first place.
A government-run and -funded task force is said to be implemented by the Democratic party later today.