Ann Romney Goes Public About Mitt’s “Nightmares”

By Chris McKerracher

BOCA RATON — In an appearance at a Boca Raton women’s club prior to her speech at the Republican National Convention, Ann Romney revealed that her husband has recently been having nightmares.

“The one last night was the worst,” confided the presumptive nominee’s biggest supporter. “Mitt dreamt he was visited by three ghosts; The Spirits of Elections Past, Present and Future.”

“Mitt said the first one, the Ghost of Elections Past, was absolutely terrifying,” Romney told the group. “The specter looked just like his father, George. He whisked Mitt back in time to the press conference where George had made public all his tax records. He kept yelling at Mitt that he would be a big disappointment if he didn’t release his tax returns at the RNC. Then George told Mitt it was too bad Mormons didn’t believe in birth control.”

Mrs. Romney, visibly upset, continued, “In the dream, Mitt was so distraught, he threw himself at the feet of his father who turned into The Ghost of Elections Present, who had an eerie resemblance to Donald Trump. The spirit kept telling Mitt to quick changing his mind. Stick to just one opinion – Trump’s. When Mitt pointed out to the spirit that Trump was still alive, the wraith responded that although Trump may be living, his electoral aspirations were deader than Ronald Reagan.”

“Then came the scariest spirit of all: The Ghost of Elections Yet to Come,” related Romney. “Mitt said Trump turned into this hooded apparition that looked like the love-child of Paul Ryan and Death. “All he kept saying was “I’ll be waiting…”

“I can’t wait for this silly election to be over so Mitt and I can move to the White House and life can go back to normal,” concluded Mrs. Romney.