Hundreds of Delegates Cited With DUIO’s After Leaving Convention
CHARLOTTE – The final day of the DNC ended yesterday on a high note after an address from President Barack Obama. However, what happened post-convention was quite troubling.
After Obama’s speech had ended, crowds began fleeing the downtown Charlotte area, many of which were stopped at various police checkpoints set up throughout the city. The “Reality” checkpoints were stopping people for “excessive happiness,” “banner waiving,” and “over politeness.” Police at these checkpoints reported citing drivers and passengers with DUIO’s (Driving Under The Influence Of Obama).
“It was our goal to stop anyone who looked to be under the influence of the president’s speech,” said an anonymous spokesman for the department. “Most of the people were reporting signs that are typical with self-association, happiness, and understanding not based on any facts, but simply the president’s own words. We used these reality checkpoints to calm the crowds down, simply. We can’t afford to have people running around spreading happiness at times like this.”
Some one hundred drivers were pulled over and cited with DUIOs and are serving their time repairing local roads and bridges.