Young Voters Oppose Job Creation, Want to Remain in Basement
By Chris Todd
WASHINGTON – With President Obama having spoken out in favor of sending all American students to college, many Americans are concerned with how and if his proposals will affect them. For young voters, there is a growing backlash not only to Obama’s plan, but to jobs in general.
“I think, at face value, creating jobs is a good thing for America and this economy,” said 18-year-old Russell Baker. “But my America is in my parents’ basement, where there is no rent and I can sleep in all day. Can a job offer me that?”
While most Americans are clamoring for Congress to pass some comprehensive job plans, young adults are trying to dampen the noise. A new poll conducted in basements across the country shows that 36% of registered voters between the ages of 18 and 21 describe a job creation bill as a “bummer,” noting that the presence of jobs would “leave me with no excuse [for not having a job].” Another 24% believed that job creation is wrong and would rather vote for something closer to job evolution. The remaining 40% were caught off guard by the question, responding with, “Shut the door, it’s not what it looks like!”
Political analysts believe that these young voters will soon find job creation necessary. They cite historical evidence showing that while mooching off others may be fun for a while, at some point young people need to be able to buy a new place to “bring your ladies to and grow your pot in.”
Russell Baker, expressing a common sentiment amongst young voters everywhere, responded to the criticisms of older adults: “Yeah, I guess I see their point. I could use the money, there’s a new Call of Duty coming out soon.”
Photo courtesy of mtv.com