Malia Obama Announces Candidacy in 2012 Congressional Election
"Change and Hope were so 2008. In 2012, it's all about Peace and Love."
By Brett Kaplan
WASHINGTON—After her father chastised Congress for its inability to work on deadlines, Malia Obama, President Obama’s oldest daughter, has announced her last-minute intention to run in the 2012 Congressional Election.
“I think my dad really got it right when he spoke to them the other day,” said the 12-year-old Malia. “My homework is always in on time and I follow due dates. I really think I’ve got what it takes.”
President Obama discussed the decision-making process that lies ahead for him and his daughter at a speech to supporters on Wednesday. “Well, this is something we’ve talked about at the dinner table. I meant what I said about Congress, and I do believe that Malia can make an immediate, positive impact on our government. Right now, we’re really just looking at a timeframe for a campaign, and just how much of 7th and 8th grade it is feasible to miss.”
Democrats on the Hill are already gathering in preparation for an election campaign later this year. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has addressed reporters about the potential future. “She will be a young, fresh, new face around Capitol Hill. She has the energy we need, and she’s excelled in all of her endeavors so far.”
Critics of the young Obama have voiced their concerns with both her record and her eligibility to serve in Congress. Republicans have dubbed her “the liberal lion cub,” a reference to her political leanings and their fear that she will follow in all of her father’s footsteps.
Donald Trump, although having bowed out of the 2012 Presidential Race, has already issued a public demand for Obama’s official birth certificate. “Am I the only one who sees the issue here?” he remarked. Speaker of the House John Boehner added, “She’s thirteen years old! There are laws against this, she simply cannot be allowed to run!”
According to sources inside The White House, Malia’s top priorities will be to make Oscar Mayer “Lunchables” more affordable, to stimulate public works programs by building more swing sets and monkey bars, and most importantly, to cut wasteful spending by eliminating her mother’s “Let’s Move!” obesity prevention initiative.
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on Sep 24 2012. Filed under Election 2012.
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hi Malia i hope it will be good