Senator Reid to be Granted ‘Honorary Birther’ Status by Trump
By Douglas Timothy
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ — Reuters is reporting that Donald Trump will present Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid with “The Birther Award” at the Taj Mahal Hotel and Casino this Friday.
Speaking on behalf of a coalition of birthers that have gathered for the past three years, the business titan will pin a medal on the Democrat from Nevada that grants him “honorary birther” status for his never-ending commitment to a lost and discredited cause.
Flanked by 2012 Miss America Laura Kaeppeler and 2011 winner Teresa Scanlan, Trump said:
“Despite Mitt Romney releasing his 2011 taxes, which show him paying 14.1 percent in federal income taxes, and despite a notarized letter from PricewaterhouseCoopers that provides details on Romney’s taxes for almost two decades, Sen. Reid soldiers on. Like those of us who believe Mr. Obama (we refuse to call him ‘President’) is a stealth Muslim who was never born in this country, Sen. Reid is unfazed by a mountain of evidence to the contrary. The world calls us crazy, and thanks to Reid’s refusal to back down from the demonstrably false claim that Romney paid zero taxes, the world now calls him crazy. And so, we are brothers. We are two sides of the same coin. Insane? No. To paraphrase Seinfeld’s Kramer: ‘We’re so sane we blow your mind.’”
Strangely enough, DC insiders haven’t worked their media contacts to make the story front-page material. One anonymous source’s explanation was that paranoia and blind partisanship have a tendency to create strange bedfellows. In 1978, a lobbying group on behalf of child molesters teamed up with fringe pro-life group “Life By Any Means Necessary,” and 1994 saw a euthanasia lobbying firm join forces with a consortium of pro-choice nonprofits in an effort to streamline and simplify federal guidelines for terminating life at both ends of the process.
Senator Reid’s staff has publicly denied that he will be accepting the award, but aides refuse to give details pertaining to his schedule for September 29th. In addition, a tweet was deleted shortly after it was posted over the weekend that simply read: “The Donald.”