Romney, Seeking Shelter from Media Fallout, Buys Small Private Island in South Pacific
By J. Everett Ledeman
UNKNOWN LOCATION — Mitt Romney purchased a small island today in the South Pacific today, after deciding he needed a break from the fallout of last week’s public relations disasters.
“Our family needed to just get away for a little bit, there was too much going on thanks to that loveless Obama man,” Ann Romney said in a statement to Fox News last night
The Romneys left for the Isle de San Pedro on Friday, and on Saturday morning, Governor Romney purchased the island for an undisclosed sum. The locals were then promptly removed, in order to ensure “there would be no riff-raff,” according to a source inside the campaign.
Governor Romney has been spotted ambling through the white-sand beaches of the newly-dubbed “Romney Treasure Island” in bermuda shorts and a Tommy Bahama shirt, still managing to look somewhat “presidential” and “distinguished.”
Mormon groups are disgruntled, however, with the rumored choice of “Mai Tais” as the island’s quintessential drink. The Romney campaign immediately shot down this suggestion, and made clear that the Presidential candidate’s paradise drink of choice was simply orange juice on the rocks.
Photo courtesy of Realclearpolitics.com