Looking for Increased Media Coverage, Paul Aides to Create Fictional Sex Scandal


Ron Paul practices his "sexy," reserved look for the camera to make an affair with him actually seem bearable.

By David Epstein

WASHINGTON — Despite an enthusiastic following and some ideas that were once on the fringe of Republican politics, Congressman Ron Paul (R-TX) has yet to join the top ranks of the 2012 presidential race.

However, several of his campaign aides are planning to leak details of an imaginary sex scandal in the hopes that the ensuing media storm will boost Paul to the top of the field.

In truth, Paul has received far less media coverage than competitors Mitt Romney; his poll numbers have remained largely in the single digits. Hopefully this will no longer be the case.

According to internal campaign documents, assistants to Ron Paul have been in contact with several reporters at Politico. The information being provided to those reporters indicates that Paul may have made inappropriate comments on several occasions to several different women. The comments were apparently related to “being lashed to the gold standard,” and “jumping on [his] road to serfdom.” The documents also clearly lay out that the entire story is fictional.

This strategy is motivated largely by the amount of attention former presidential aspirant Herman Cain received when accusations of “sexual harassment” spread like wildfire. Consequently, for a limited amount of time, Cain completely dominated the media and his fundraising success skyrocketed. Paul’s campaign wishes to capitalize on this strategy and gain attention for their candidate once now that interest in Cain is fully depleted.

It remains to be seen if this strategy will pay out dividends for the Paul campaign. Though he has fewer supporters than Romney, the supporters he does have are unusually passionate and loyal. His campaign calculates that he stands only to gain support and tremendous sums of money.

“We think this scandal has the potential to boost us and win the nomination,” said an anonymous campaign staffer. “If we find an illegitimate child, we may even win the presidency… or a book deal and a show on Fox News – whichever can get us more money.”


Posted by on Oct 1 2012. Filed under Election 2012. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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