Romney Proves Himself a “Man of the People” by Taking Off Jacket, Tie
By David Epstein
WASHINGTON – Facing increased media coverage of his plans to double the size of his California home, Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is launching a new campaign to prove to voters that he is not an elitist. Specifically, he has promised that at all campaign events, he will doff his tie and jacket and go bare-shirted.
“I know that there are many working men who wear ties and jackets, but real blue-collar, salt of the earth men just wear a shirt,” said Romney. “By golly, I just want to show that I’m a normal guy.”
Many on the Romney campaign also insist that the dramatic move will also help to lessen the perception that the former Massachusetts governor is stiff and impersonal. One campaign aide said, “We’re also trying to get him to curse – nothing too bad, but we’re working up to him yelling, ’Fuddle duddle!’”
This wardrobe move is expected to have one serious downside – for Romney’s pants. Aides say they expect them to wear out over three times faster than his jackets, but he is ready to make that sacrifice. His shirts – 100% cotton Armanis which retail for $330 each – are expected to be able to withstand the extra wear. Mr. Romney employs a Chinese dry cleaner in his entourage to ensure that his shirts are kept clean and pressed at all times.
Romney added, “I don’t know why some people think I’m elitist. I put my Ferragamo shoes on one at a time just like everyone else… I also feel for the unemployed in this nation, since I too am unemployed,” before he had to leave, since he “[didn't] want to leave his jet ski agent waiting too long.”